Spring Cleaning…Good Grief!

May 7, 2014 | Gabriel Colella

“Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.” -Mark Twain

Are you cleaning out the clutter this Spring?
Spring CleaningSpring cleaning doesn’t just apply to our dwelling, it also applies to the body/mind organism in which we dwell.  Spring is a great time to clear out some of your old mental, emotional and physical clutter.  After a long, dark winter, it can be greatly beneficial to clear out some of that stagnant energy from the winter, change old habits and begin to cleanse the temples that are our bodies.  The thing that we don’t often consider in this mix is the inevitable feeling of GRIEF.

When we clear out the old and make way for the new, there is can also be a sense of loss, which can be a loss of a sense of self from digging deep and clearing out old conditioning, or changing our diets or literally clearing out the clutter from our homes.  How do we find peace and balance with this sense of loss?  What can we do to come to terms with the space we have made within ourselves or our environment?  And, most importantly, how do we intend to fill that new space and what do we fill it with?

Grief
If you want to really clear out the clutter this Spring, grief, no matter how large or small, must be dealt with.

Here are some sure fire and simple ways to deal with grief.

1) The only way out of it is through it.
Get intimate with your grief. Feel as deeply as you can into it. There are gifts there. It is a feeling that wants acknowledgment and the more that you can just BE with it, the more you will be able to access the wisdom it has to offer. So just exactly how do we access this wisdom?
2) Abide by the Law of Balances
We experience life in pairs of opposites. Grief stems from a greater perceived loss than gain. We cannot lose something without an equal gain. A simple exercise that you can do to balance your perception and the subsequent grief you are feeling, is to make a T-chart. Above the T-chart, write what it is you are grieving. On one half of the chart write “loss” and on the other side write, “gain”. Make a list of 10-20 on each side. At some point you will be able to feel a sense of gratitude and peace around what it is you are grieving. The Law of Balances shows us that birth and death are a cycle. With the death of one thing arises the birth of another. With the literal or figurative death you are experiencing, what has that given birth to in your life? Has it given you a renewed sense of life, deeper gratitude for what you have, a new sense of purpose, etc.?
3) See the other side
In the Mayan culture, Grief and Praise are considered one and the same. We grieve something because we loved it. We loved it with attachments however. Those attachments could be a sense of self or identity, advantages we perceived that we derived from it, and values that it fulfilled. Grief gives us the opportunity to love whatever it was without condition or attachment. Another aspect of the Mayan’s understanding of grief was that they considered weeping and singing as one and the same as well. Our weeping is our heart’s song to that which we loved. If we feel it or perceive it, there is always another side to it. Take it upon yourself today to ask, “What is the other side to this?” “What else is this showing me?”
4) The Law of Reflections is also the Law of the One and the Many
How does this work? For example, if we have “lost” some one in relationship or through death, the traits that we most loved about that one person can now be found in our many other relationships. Matter is neither created nor destroyed it just reveals itself in another form. Our relationships abide in this same way. A simple exercise that you can do is to make a list of all of the traits you loved about that one person and then match those up to the other people/relationships that are present in your life. For example, you may have loved your father’s sense of humor, wit, compassion, patience, etc. What people can you find those traits in that are currently in your life experience now? If it was a thing that you “lost” make a list of values that that thing fulfilled for you and then look for what things, activities and people are currently helping to fulfill those values.

Grief is a gift if we know how to unwrap it. The universe is in perfect divine order, perfect equilibrium. It is our responsibility to discover this order in our lives if we want to experience more balance and peace mentally, emotionally and experientially. When we do this, we are able to live with an open heart and hear it song more clearly.

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